James’ Story

My name is James and I have been a Bethany resident for over a year.

I was asked by Bethany Christian Trust to write a few words about my experience. These are the words that came to me and I hope they will touch someone in need of a home.

My father was an abusive alcoholic who died when I was aged 8 or 9. I remember praying to God to not take my father away as I discovered him suffering a heart attack while he was so drunk that he couldn’t move, right in front of me. My life changed from that moment.

I don’t know the reasons why I started drinking – I had experienced first-hand how much damage it had done – but over the years it became worse and worse. I’d turned into my dad at his worst. I hated myself the more I drank.

I graduated Uni and moved to the US, met a girl, got married and had two daughters. I worked for a bank and was living the American dream. But, as my income grew, so did the addiction. It was only a matter of time before alcohol destroyed me and I could no longer control my addiction.

My marriage broke down and I had to fight for custody of my girls. I didn’t stand a chance. Everyone knew I was a deadbeat alcoholic dad and most of my “friends” were alcoholics too. I knew it too. My anger grew to rage as my life came crashing in about me. I lost custody of my daughters, lost my job, and was being threatened monthly with jail time due to my inability to pay child support.

I returned to the UK in late 2018 in the hope that I could find a new start, and I did. I’d landed a decent job in Scotland and tried to settle down. During Covid, my addiction took over again and I didn’t care about anyone, even myself.

Jail was the only place for me. It would be the first time in years I’d be sober.

God never stopped coming for me until he found me. I joined Prison Fellowship and attended church. I got a bible and was reading all the time, diligently praying and journaling it all. Learning of God’s forgiveness, love and his power to transform. Studying what it meant to love and let go. I’d cry tears of shame every night; God was doing work within me.

My release day began to approach. With 48 hours to go I began slipping into despair again. I had nowhere to go upon release and I was panicking and scared. I’d saved some money from working in jail but that would last maybe two days. I had nearly no possessions. I was doubting my prayers and flashbacks from my past were crippling me. A bottle of whisky would help end all the noise once and for all.

The morning of my release, David from Bethany Christian Trust came to see me in jail.

I wasn’t expecting a visit. I now know that Prison Fellowship had been working for me behind the scenes with David to help me.

From that meeting, my life changed again. I was not only offered a place to stay but also that support would be available for my mental health, my addictions, my financial mess, my heart. All this from a complete stranger.

As part of my recovery, my resettlement worker with Bethany Christian Trust encouraged me to volunteer at the Bethany Charity Shop in Dennistoun, Glasgow, a suggestion that was significant to gaining back my self-confidence, confidence in others and sense of purpose. I love creating a new look in the shop window, restocking the clothes, working the till, or just catching up with the friends I work with and mingling with the locals.

I’ve never really worked at a place where everyone treats you with respect, dignity and love before. At the Bethany Shop I am trusted. I really enjoy being part of something with a real purpose and vision.

It’s been over a year now. I’ve learned to lean on God. I know that God hears your prayers. I’ve been fighting with alcohol still but it’s a battle I am winning because I am not alone. I’ve become a serving member of my community; I’m being supported by the Bethany Christian Trust Bridge to Freedom group. And most of all (this is tough for me to say…) I believe I am loved, even with my imperfections.

Bethany Christian Trust continues to support my recovery and helps me to rediscover my purpose in life.

So that’s me, James, on a mission doing my best to be my best.

We are grateful to James for sharing his story with us, which you can read alongside Shelly’s reflections on the Bethany Shop community in the 2024 Annual Report, Seeds of Change.